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Tuesday 26 May 2015

Problems after marriage? well try these ‘mindful’ ways to reignite romance after marriage

Love can go stale and who knows it better than couples married for years. As life gets caught in the rut, romance flies out of the window, and this affects both your physical and mental intimacy. But don’t let it ruin a beautiful relationship that you cherish. To help you revive your romance mindfulness expert, happiness and wellness life coach, Charnita Arora gives some useful relationship tips.

Give your partner respect: 
Whether its five years of marriage or 25 never take your partner for granted. Let your partner know how important their presence is in your life. You don’t have to touch the sky and be back to show gratitude. Simple actions like the way you talk, look and listen to them can make them feel important. One of the most common love-fails is comparing them with other members of the family making them feel insignificant and dispensable. So stop doing it, right now. Embrace your partner’s imperfections; well that is what love is about. 

Say ‘yes’ to their choices: 

When it comes to favourite food, travel destinations, or even movies; your partner’s preferences might be very different from yours. Often these small little things lead to those petty fights that just blow up. But understand that difference of opinion on anything or everything is natural. Instead of being angry or upset try and develop an attitude of curiosity and genuine interest towards their preferences. Look at them as a medium for expanding your awareness towards the world. It brings along a beautiful sense of variety as well as compassionate inclusion. 

Talk more in person that on WhatsApp:

 In the age of multi-tasking we end up negotiating with the non-negotiable. With earphones plugging the ears, and phone or laptop screen walling you from your partner; the relationship feels trivial. Most of the time communications with the partner happen through a smartphone in pixel form and not in true words. It is important to be mindful of the time and quantity of media we consume. Never overlook real-time loved ones for screen-stimulation. 

Listen to their dreams:

Develop awe towards your partner. Your partner is an entire universe of ideas, dreams, fears and strengths. Pay attention and don’t laugh or criticize their dreams and desires. Instead, try to be their dream-facilitator. Have a private ritual like making a dream-diary where you and your partner write down your dreams. Once a week, on a certain ‘dream-night’ you could read out one dream of yours to your partner and listen to one of their dreams. As we age, we tend to dream less which makes life dull. But trusting your partner with your dreams and desires works towards mental maturity and release of pent up emotions.

Get intimate: 

A soft touch on the shoulder, a spontaneous kiss on the forehead, a hug from behind, a meeting and melting of eyes, a deep-hearted smile — such gestures are little parcels of happiness. They convey emotional as well as physical intimacy. A beautiful sense of certainty and belongingness is there when you offer your touch or lovingly accept the touch from your partner. Also, pay attention to how you look. Nurture yourself with good food, exercise and sleep to offer a healthy mind and body to your partner.

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